Welcome to the conversation pit, darling.
Or the act of embracing multi-passionate cringe on the internet, in the hopes of feeling less alone.
This space? It’s a conversation pit (in the best way). You know, those glorious, sunken living room setups from the 70s? Imagine this: plush cushions in jewel tones, velvet everywhere, the faint scent of something indulgent (candles? a roast? who knows), and just the right level of “someone definitely took an edible.” Maybe there’s a record player humming along in the background, or maybe it’s just the gentle clink of a cocktail glass as someone shifts to tell a story they’ve been dying to share. Cozy. Delicious. Intimate.
I’ve been obsessed with these retro sanctuaries since I stumbled across one in a Beatles film, and have seen their recent resurgence in modern design. Why doesn’t everything look like this? But also, Why doesn’t everything feel like this? A conversation pit isn’t just furniture, it’s a mood, a vibe, a built-in invitation to let your guard down. They aren’t made for awkward mingling or scrolling your phone while half-listening. They’re made for sinking in, lounging like a queen or a court jester, and being.
And while modern architecture is having a moment reviving these sanctuaries (thank you, tasteful overlords), I didn’t want to wait for someone to install one in my hypothetical dream home. So, here we are: a virtual version. A space for us to gather, metaphorically kick off our shoes, and toss our half-baked thoughts into the center like we’re playing an existential game of catch.
Whatever brought you, I’m so glad you’re here. I’m Sophie (Sofia when I’m in trouble), a multipassionate creative in my mid-30s who swore I’d have my life sorted by now. Spoiler: I don’t. I’m renting, restarting after heartbreak, and somehow both aspirationally Morticia Addams and emotionally a golden retriever. People probably look at me and think “stern librarian,” but they don’t really see me. Can relate? Are you, like me, pre-judged but also exploding with desire?! Desire to create, to connect, to be a little baddie while accepting my golden retriever energy. Tie-dye Care Bear tees? Sure. Leather harnesses to concerts? Absolutely. We contain multitudes.
Why This Newsletter Exists
This newsletter started brewing in my head the day a friend told me she was too nervous to show up to a party alone, a party where her boyfriend was waiting for her!
At first, I was floored. Your boyfriend was already there! But then I started thinking about all the times I’ve stayed in the proverbial car. All the times I let fear or shame or some vague sense of inadequacy keep me from stepping into the spaces I wanted to occupy. I’ve told myself I’m not good enough, funny enough, or polished enough. That my work isn’t ready. That it’s silly to want things like community or to be seen as desirable. That’s why I’m here. I’m tired of waiting in the car, and I want this to be the space that nudges us inside, together.
It’s an insane tightrope we’re forced to walk. And the world caters to these fears. Social media is full of “baddest bitch” energy that can feel just as isolating as our doubts. We need softness and bravery. We need spaces where we can exist exactly as we are, bold and scared, messy and graceful, and still be celebrated. I’ve let fear of rejection, of looking stupid, of just not being enough, keep me in the proverbial car more times than I can count.
Maybe you stumbled here by mistake. Maybe you were lured by vibes of sensual rebellion (me likely). Or maybe (just maybe) this is fate’s slightly unhinged way of telling us we’re meant to connect. Whatever brought you, I’m thrilled you’re here.
This isn’t the kind of newsletter where I shout “YOU’VE GOT THIS!” while you roll your eyes. No. This is where we dive into everything that feels too messy, too weird, too real. This is where we talk about the songs we cry to, the choices that haunt us, the small rebellions that keep us sane, and the guilty pleasures that make us feel alive (and a little hot).
Have you also been stuck in a creative rut for too long? Resenting yourself for not making anything? I feel cringey posting my work online, but the alternative, hoarding my ideas in silence, hasn’t exactly been lighting my fire. And we need community. Like, really need it. After living in six different states over the last decade, I’m tired of feeling untethered. I want to connect with women (and humans!) who might feel the same way. People navigating self-doubt or social anxiety but still daring to show up. People who, like my friend, might hesitate to walk into a party, even one where their boyfriend is waiting, but still dream of a braver version of themselves. I get it. I am her. I doubt myself, too. But together, maybe we can nudge each other forward. This is a chance to be graceful and thoughtful and emotionally healed while still holding space to be little punks, loud and proud about what we want from this life.
This newsletter has a few sections! Here’s what you can expect:
Guilty pleasures: Why fan-girling is a feminist act, and why body neutrality feels like revolution. Musings on womanhood; and the duality of wearing harnesses to concerts but also tearing up at Care Bears reruns.
Crave: A little haven for inspiration; mood boards, creative visuals, songs to soundtrack your next adventure or project. Think of it as a digital nest for ideas you can steal, remix, and create with.
Lads on Tour (aka Shy G!rls Try): Notes from the wild world of being 30-something, single, figuring it out, and wondering where the hell our people are. It’s one part DO IT SOLO and two parts LET’S BUILD COMMUNITY. Let’s challenge ourselves to get out there, whether it’s trying new things, traveling together someday (dreaming of it now), or doing that self-love photoshoot (I’m a hobbyist photographer, and I think one of my great joys could be capturing women at their most powerful and making them feel seen).
Bad Bets: My long-dreamt-of podcast, launching in February (if I can stop second-guessing myself). It’ll be messy, hilarious, and full of big swings, because why not? Sports, history, pop-culture, we’ll dissect it.
Free subscribers will get one juicy post a month to sip on. And if you’re really into it, there’s a paid tier where things get even juicier. Think exclusive posts, polls, chats, discounts on things like group trips or maybe even a photoshoot deal (because yes, you should absolutely have a dramatic, sexy photoshoot to mark your villain era). No pressure, though, it’s there when you’re ready.
So, grab a metaphorical seat (or sprawl dramatically, I support that energy) and make yourself at home. Let’s talk. Let’s laugh. Let’s dive deep and maybe even get a little weird. Because the best stories, the best conversations, the best connections, they all start with someone leaning in and saying, I was thinking…
Welcome to the pit.
Why You Should Stay
Because the world doesn’t make it easy for us to dream or dare. It tells us to keep our heads down, to be smaller, quieter, easier to digest. But I say fuck that.
I want us to connect with our creativity, our sensuality, our courage. To stop waiting for permission to live boldly. To embrace the full spectrum of who we are; tie-dye and harnesses, vulnerability and rebellion, softness and power.
I want to build a community that’s weird and wonderful and maybe a little feral in the best way. Here’s to showing up, to embracing the messy middle, to finding joy in a little “rebellion”, whatever that means to you. Thanks for being here, for reading, for believing (even just a little) that we’re onto something. I can’t wait to see where this goes.
Now go do something ridiculous and lovely today.
xo,
Sofia